I really love your points about the balance between “listening and attuning” vs maintaining one’s masculine edge. For me, that’s really something I’d like to keep top of mind…

Your post is spot on! I particularly agree with this section:

*** MEN – Be Willing to Take Charge

There’s a trend with men becoming less and less aggressive in bed.

Bad in that you’re throwing out your masculine edge. I can’t tell you how many women reveal to me that they wish their lovers were more aggressive in bed.

Women want men who can be sensitive and loving, and in this regard the more that you can be sensitive and loving, the better – be still want the man to take charge and “Take Her” in the bedroom.

Women also want to be captured and taken by the wild, unbridled, even dangerous part of you. They want to feel your raw hunger –that part of you that drives you to rip her clothes off and penetrate her into oblivion. I also know that many of you men want to do this too.

The more you aren’t a “gentleman” the less she has to be a “lady.”

Now don’t confuse a woman’s desire to let go of her sexual control and have you exert yours for a woman wanting a sex hound. Being sexually needy is very different from being sexually powerful. Hunger comes from instinct, while need comes from a feeling of lack. ***

IN some cases this can be seen as the dominant submissive roles. This weekend in San Francisco there is an extreme version of this being taught (see: http://www.eroticdominance.com/)

In order to have intense polarity between the sexes there needs to be intense energy in the actions taken that reveal a man (and woman’s) sexual dimension.

Sherrie Rose
The Love Linguist

I love your metaphor of minefields — those scary, explosive places that require us to open more deeply and move through our obstacles with courage.

Thanks!