Not in the Mood?

Can you imagine if you went to work or exercised only when you were in the mood? Can you imagine the effects on your income and your physical shape?

And yet, this is how most of us relate to sex! We let how we “feel” dictate whether or not we make love.

Not “being in the mood’ could mean a host of things that are always shifting. It could mean you’re afraid; it could mean you’re angry. It could mean that you feel unattractive. Moods are affected by everything. To let whether you feel like having sex be a defining factor in whether you do, is not a very solid “plan” for your sexual growth and enjoyment.

Mood centered sex also enables you to avoid one another and to distance yourselves.  One of you simply says: “ I don’t feel like it,” and all hopes for a loving interaction are off.

Mood driven sex pretty much ensures you will not grow sexually because there isn’t enough consistent attention and nurturing to your connection. You can’t water a garden when you feel like it, and hope to find much alive in the garden.

Great sex and the benefits in your life, require you to make it happen even when you’re not in the mood. It’s a big step toward moving into deeper connection, graduating from sex that is about pleasure alone, to sex expressed as love!