Posted by Karen Brody in 
The very thing that enchants men is the very thing we most fear giving them – our vulnerability. Rather than let them see where we hurt and how we need, we hit them over the head with our pain and push them away with complaints.
Trust me, I know how hard it is to be vulnerable with men. My mother pounded into me that men are insensitive. Share feelings with men? Would you give your heart to a butcher?
My mom was a product of her time. She didn’t’ expect to be cherished, held and comforted by her man. But we women today do, so opening the gates to our hearts is essential.
It’s not easy to let a man in if you fear he will use your vulnerability against you. Yet, being vulnerable is exactly what makes a man feel he can trust you – and, that he can trust his own feelings with you.
A conscious, loving man actually appreciates a woman’s vulnerability. She doesn’t have to play a victim, or be someone he needs to save. This is where we miss the point.
There is a vast difference between being vulnerable and being a powerless victim.
There is also a vast difference between blaming a man for how you feel and launching your feelings at him angrily – and allowing him to witness you in your pain and need.
A man is attracted to a woman who is emotionally masterful. Really hear this distinction. In other words, she has what I call “Embodied Emotional Presence.” This means that you can express your feelings in a way that is self-honoring, and also honoring of your man. Very different from throwing blame and complaints.
Embodied Emotional Presence gives a man the spaciousness he needs to hear you, and you get the benefit of his affection and care.
Next time you are hurt or angry or sad and want to share feelings with your man…
A. Put your hand over your heart and take a deep breath
B. Ask him to simply listen
C. Share your heart from that place that has no perpetrator, free of words that blame or sting.
For more excellent information on how to get a good man and to keep him, there is no (other) better teacher than my friend, Rori Raye. Check out her book, below:
