Posted by Karen Brody in Do you ever wonder why the woman you’re with suddenly withdraws her sexual interest?
Do you ever wonder if it’s something you did or could have avoided?
The good news is that this unfortunately all-too-common dilemma can be avoided, simply by understanding how sexual dynamics work.
If you’re like 99 percent of red-blooded men, you’ve probably said or thought something like this in your lifetime: “I’m always ready for sex.”
Maybe you told your partner, “Anytime.” And if you’re like a lot of men, you reminder her of this everyday, yet it doesn’t increase her desire to have sex with you.
It seems normal to want sex all the time – if you’re a man. But women find such exuberance suspect. For women, the desire for sex is driven by so many shifting external and emotional factors that to be always “on” and always “hot” seems a bit disconnected from everything else.
The question that comes to women’s minds is: “Can this be love?”
Often when I help clients explore their always-ready sexual pattern, there’s an unconscious belief that a man “should” be ready. He “should” be ready because he’s a man and men are supposed to want sex – any kind of sex, anytime. Even if they’re not attracted, even if they’re married, even if there’s no emotional connection.
For men, “fear of scarcity” also affects readiness. “I’d better take it while I can get it.”
Even men who are married and get a good deal of sex or, who have enjoyed success with women casually, still have this always-ready switch turned to “on.” Having a lot of sex doesn’t guarantee a man will relax and bask in his abundance.
A man’s constant need, want and eager “trot to the gate” is not only exhausting, but leaves no room for a woman to want. Just as a man’s perception of scarcity fires him up to be a ready and eager partner, a woman’s lack of scarcity leaves her without an appetite. She lives at a virtual sexual buffet, where sex is always on the table.
A woman wants to be desired, make no mistake about that, but your being primed at the gate is not about your desire for her. She perceives this as more about you and your pressing physical urges. So issuing a “no” is easy for her.
How to Become the Lover She Secretly Wants
If you’re under 50, testosterone can drive you to want sex, a lot. It can override your ability to think clearly and to be present. Until you reign in your sexual energy and master it, your sex drive will run you and negatively effect how your partner feels about being sexual with you.
Listen to your woman when she says: “All you ever care about is sex” because the deeper communication is: “I don’t believe you love me. You only want me for sex.” She can sense the difference between your instinct to release, and your desire to make love to her.
It requires know-how and practice to master your innate, primal sexual desire. As you work on mastering this, you can also gain the skills for mastering your orgasm and ejaculation.
Your ability to “master” your instinctual urges makes a woman feel safe, and feel respect for you. When she feels safe, that you in “in control” of your sexual experience, she can open herself up completely to you, and to her own pleasure.
By mastering your sexual domain, you demonstrate love and a desire to express love, and this will turn any woman into a more interested lover.
If you don’t already have my “Get Her and Keep Her!” audio program, get it now to master how to hold a woman’s sexual interest and get all the sex you want! This is the very best program on web for deeply connecting with what SHE wants in and out of bed.
http://www.getherandkeepher.com
All Contents International Copyright Karen Brody 2010. All International Rights Reserved. Contact the author for permission to reprint, or simply link to this article here.
So true! Makes total sense, if a man’s in a state of mastery he’s safe to be with and open up to. Great read — thanks!
during the dating process, women are always hot for snuggling, heavy petting in the car, outside the car, in bed, anywhere…after they get married, they want to be seduced. no more instant hot sexual struggles. they want to have time to take a shower, put on something sexy, and roll back the covers and wait for the man to approach. i liked the heavy petting, and it doesnt happen anymore.