Posted by Karen Brody in When a woman says, “let’s be friends,” what it means in very plain language is she is not sexually attracted to you. It doesn’t mean you’re too nice for her. It means you don’t turn her on, period.
As hard as this might be to take in, the more you understand how and why you get relegated to the friends category and what you can do about it, the less it will happen for you.
Of course, not everyone will be attracted to you – even if you are physically stunning, super rich and wildly successful. There are so many subtleties that make up what attracts a woman to a man; what’s important is that you don’t get in your own way and make yourself unattractive by doing what MOST men do.
The biggest obstacle most men have to being sexually attractive is trying to seem NOT interested in sex. That’s right: Trying NOT to seem interested in sex.
You probably think this is how to gain a woman’s trust – to seem above sex. In reality, it’s the fastest way to make “friends.” It’s a “game plan” that practically guarantees she will not find you sexually attractive.
Couple of reasons: One, a woman wants to know that you desire her. This must be communicated subtlety, but nonetheless, communicated. “I desire you. I find you sexy. You turn me on.” You have to be clear in some way that you want to be sexual with her. If you are not clear, she will decide for you; and that decision will not work in your favor.
Everything you’ve been taught tells you not to tell a woman you want her. And yet it is exactly what needs to happen. No, you don’t want to convey that you ONLY want sex, this is what she fears – you want to convey that in addition to really liking who she is, you desire her. A woman wants to be desired. If you miss this piece, the sexual fire will barely be a flame.
Second important piece: When you suppress your desire for her, you come across as feminine. You don’t give off the electric energy a man who is attracted and desirous gives off – the kind of energy that turns a woman on. You come across as sexless, essentially, and she feels zero attraction.
Let her know you want her; say it elegantly, and let it be a part of wanting all that she is. This is a winning formula!
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